Living with Hodgkin's Disease

Lets just say it, Cancer sucks. I was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma stage 4b NS at the age of 28. I was told there was not a lot of hope, but they would try their best. I don’t think there was a time in my life I had been more frightened or afraid. But i kept my faith in God and my family that we would get through this. I received 9 cycles of ABVD chemotherapy and a healthy dose of radiation. To everyone’s surprise, The cancer went into remission.

Over the next year I lived life like there was no tomorrow I married my long time girlfriend, got a new career, things were on the up and up, but a storm was coming. Shortly after my wife and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary. MY wife’s grandmother fell ill with non-hodgkins lymphoma, and could not beat it. A week or so after the funeral I started to not feel so good. I had horrible back aches, pains shooting down my legs at times. One morning i woke up form sleep and couldn’t get out of bed, not from a back ache, but simply….My legs didn’t want to work. Called 911 who took my via ambulance to the hospital where a MRI was done of my back, and BEHOLD! The eagle had landed. I had a tumor inside my spinal canal bout the size of 3-4 jellybeans laid end to end and it had pinched off my spinal cord. I was transported to a different hospital where a Surgeon who specialized in spinal cord and back operation removed the tumor with clean margins. However, before I could heal, the tumor had grown back and it was larger than before. The biopsy of the tumor they removed showed Hodgkins Lymphoma again.

This time it was far worse. I had cancer in My T12,L3-L1, vertabrae, a hunk of my pelvis, a whole family of lymphnodes where inflamed around my kidneys and i had a Large node under my right arm. I was referred to a Oncologist who specialized in relapse patients. He took a good look at me and my history and decided he wanted to refer me to a clinical trial with a Doctor who getiing 80% remission rates on relapse patients which was unheard of.

I was referred to Memorial Hospital and my wife and I moved to Manhattan to begin my treatment. My parents would eventually move as well, which takes us to what I call….Rock Bottom.

It was Early February 2001, my body had been given HIGH dose chemotherapies some of which where experimental reverse genesis drugs, I remember one of them was so powerful the IV bag was bigger than a kitchen garbage bag and ran over a 7 day period, 24 hrs a day. I was on Dalauted for pain, and was in and out most the time. I was also severely nausious I had lost 94 pounds. One day my parents showed up in my room, I was so surprised and happy. I hadn’t noticed my wife had gone. In fact she had not been there in a week but i didn’t notice. My blood counts where at zero’s across the board, I had just received my STEM cell transplant and was on transfusions to stay alive till the STEM cells brought my bone marrow back to life. Little did I know, my wife had left NY and gone home, packed up our whole house and moved. She gave away my dog, and left no forwarding address. This my friends is what we can safely call Rock Bottom. It would be another week till I asked where my wife was, and my parents told me the news. I was heart broken.

The aftermath. October 2000 i was rolled in via a wheel chair unable to walk to the hospital. May 2001 I walked out on my own 2 feet. Would be years later when my father revealed to me something I had never known about that treatment. Mid February my liver shutdown, my kidneys were going. I was exhibiting all the characteristics of someone who was not going to make it. No one knows why, and no doctor can explain it, but one Morning the nurse walked in and took a look at me and procalimed, YOU LOOK A LOT BETTER TODAY. My doctor came in looked at me examined me, they did blood tests and it was confirmed, My liver and kidneys just decided to start working again.

Not often in life you get a second chance. I got one and I havent wasted it. Returning home, First course of business was to recover my stuff and my dog! Which i did, I have since re-married to a wonderful woman, no kids yet, but hopefully one day.

If you want to honest truth, You can never give up when fighting cancer, you have to maintain a positive mental outlook at all times. Find something meaningful in your life and hold on to it. I call it your “anchor”. I have been cancer free for 7 years now and I feel great.

All i can tell you is just cause you get cancer doesn’t mean you have to check our hopes and dreams at the door. Make plans, short term and long term ones and make sure you are around to do them. Set goals for yourself and work to achieve them. You will have your good days, your bad days, and own personal “Rock Bottom” along the way. But take heart, it does get better.