Living with Pancreatic Cancer

On January 18, 2008 I taught kindergarten as I had for the last 21 years. However, I had a doctors appt. at the end of the day due to a blood test which I had taken the day before. I then went to the doctor expecting to get meds and go home for the day. Instead I ended up in the hospital. By the next day at lunch, I had been told that I had pancreatic cancer. Doctors told me that they did not want me returning to work. My husband and I were in shock. I had been having a few problems with my stomach but cancer was not what we expected to here.

Within three weeks , we were at MD Anderson. Yes, pancreatic cancer was the reason for all the little things that had been bothering me for the last month. The cancer was not outside the gland and the doctors made their plans . I have returned home for chemo and will return after 4 treatments. Then they will test and see if the cancer has spread. I am not happy with the plan in that I wanted to have the surgery while I was there on the first visit. I am only hoping and praying that the chem is doing its job and killing the cancer. Odds are not in my favor however, I believe in prayer and have faith that the end result will be for good.

I have taken time to think and ponder life as it is given to us. It is wonderful and too often we rush through it without much thought. One day I blinked and mine was changed. I miss teaching more than words could express. I miss the casual way I let one day flow into another. I miss laying in the bed with not much to think about other than what happened at school that day. Yet now, I love the way I look at the tree in my front yard and marvel at its beauty. I love listening to my husband tell me that with or without hair he will love me. I love that I now know that I am a strong person and that whatever comes I can face it. Would I choose this for myself? No, but I have it and whatever happens cancer can not take the wonderful parts of my life away. Nor can it stop many more grand and wonderful things from happening before the final words of my life story is written.